How Do You Know if It’s a God Thing?

I ask myself this question a lot, especially as it relates to my writing and people I meet.

For some reason, I have this insane idea that I should apply to be a Board of Director for my children’s charter school.  I have been kicking it around for a couple of weeks now and it hasn’t gone away.

I really don’t have experience.  My kids have been in school a grand total of 4 weeks.  How could I do this?

Then I started thinking of all my advantages:  I don’t know the school, I’m a born skeptic (especially since I used to homeschool), I’m opinionated but unbiased, and I’m intelligent (I mean, let’s just be blunt here.  I do have a master’s degree in finance after all).

So, I started reading up on the qualifications.  I passed all of them except one:  my kids haven’t been enrolled for at least two years in the school.  I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, thinking I now had a reason to ignore this prompting I keep getting from God.

That is, until I read if no other qualified candidates exist, the rules could be changed by the current board–leaving the possibility of me running still that:  a possibility.

So, now what?  Do I need to fight for this?  Do I just lay back and see if God moves things in my direction?

Well, I already emailed the headmaster, saying I’d be interested if no one else applied.  So maybe that’s enough.  Yet I can’t be sure.

I still feel prompted by God to do this and can’t ignore it.  Is this a word from God?  Yet, I’m not qualified and maybe someone else better is out there.

Well, I have a month until application deadline so I will just bide my time for now.  Wait and see what happens.  Maybe I’ll send another inquiring email about it.  Who knows?  Wilder things have happened than me being recruited to do such a thing.

Losing a Tooth

My oldest daughter finally lost a tooth.  She’s 6 1/2 and she lost a bottom tooth.  We saved it and showed Daddy when he got home and she earned a dollar (which she spent on candy but I won’t tell the dentist that!).

Well, someone else in the family lost a tooth as well.  My 9-year old English Mastiff lost a front bottom tooth.  They had been rotting for a while now and one finally popped out.  I think another is close behind.

I was sad.  My first baby (the dog) is aging and not so gracefully anymore.  Poor thing.  She doesn’t like stairs and she loves the bed.

I started calling her Toothless (like the Dragon from “How To Train Your Dragon”).  Luckily, she’s still healthy and lost teeth is not really a problem.  I’ll just start buying soft dog food.  She can still chew fairly well though.

What amazed me the most was the correlation between the two.  My daughter complained all the time how her tooth hurt.  My dog–not a word although I’m sure it hurt and wasn’t pleasant.  I’m sure she couldn’t chew her food or bone very well.

Dogs–ever faithful, never complain, and always by your side.  Great, isn’t it?

Good to Be Back…

My husband has his week off from work (he works 2 weeks on, 1 week off) and ever since then nothing has gotten done (including blogging).  We’ve been busy just hanging out and spending time with the kiddos.

He left yesterday afternoon so I began today the way I like to:  working out, working on my novels, doing laundry and dishes, cleaning the camper, and getting stuff thrown out and organized.  I definitely feel re-vitalized.

I’m ready to conquer the world again.

Some Return to Normalcy

With my husband home for a week before he goes back to work, some sense of normalcy has returned to my life even though we still have 10 days before we get a house.  He’s been cooking real food (as opposed to TV dinners and the like) and we’ve been doing family activities.  The camper’s water has been fixed so we now have running water again.  My propane has been filled and life is somewhat tolerable again.

We are both avoiding his family like the plague until we can move and have a break from the chaos.  So far, it is working but with the holiday weekend coming up, we need to plan stuff to get out of dodge.  I’m deathly afraid his family will do something on Labor Day and we’ll have to bow out not so gracefully.  We visited the new baby and got that family obligation over with.

My husband’s birthday was Sept 1st and he made it home so the kids enjoyed it.

My plan for today is to drop my two oldest off at school while Daddy takes the baby and go and hang out at Barnes and Noble for a bit and regroup for a moment.  I may even get a book for once–something to do at least since I have had no desire to write lately.

Doing what I need to do to survive–that’s my motto for the moment.

Fighting Anxiety

Can I just have my own place yet, God?  Please?

I am getting nothing done in my life because of my stress level.  I just received a phone call saying my brother-in-law is about to have his baby.  For some reason, this sets me on edge.  It’s a twinge of jealously because I know my kids will get less attention in the family (not that they get a lot anyways).  But mostly I just don’t care and I feel guilty about that but really don’t know how to change it.

Once I move, I just need to quit answering the phone.  I don’t really anyways right now unless I know the person but for some reason, this season in my life is extremely tough.  I feel like I’m waiting a lot on others and don’t like that.

Bother like Pooh says.  It’s all bother.

Mommy Needs a Good Cry

I think I do need a good cry.  I mean, I am stressed to the max here.  Living in a camper, juggling 3 kids lives, trying not to lose it with my husband’s family, praying to God every day to make the day fly by until I can move into my house, praying I don’t flip out on my kids.

Something’s gotta give.

Then I just got a request from my school to join the Chess Club, which is all fine and dandy except they want $40/child.  I mean, come on.  Is all this cost really necessary?  I’m losing it.  I promptly emailed the head master and the chess guy, questioning all of this.  I think I’m about to lose it.

Maybe if I cried I would de-stress and feel better.  Who knows?

How to Care When No One Else Does

Church today reflected on this principle, which is HUGE right now in my life.

If you believe God knows what we need and He has been good to us, then we should want to give to others and believe:

1) Compassion

2) Believe Jesus will help

3) Take action

4) Don’t let difficulties stop you

5) It takes a team

So how do we do all of this when life gets us down?  How do you care about people who don’t care about you?

I’m still working on this myself.  I have a tendency to not care about others who don’t care about me.  I got enough problems than to worry about these people.  Yet, Jesus tells us to.

Well, with God all things are possible.  I think once I get over my current trials, get a house, and take a breather, things will start to settle into place and maybe, just maybe, these principle will too.

Lessons From Kids’ Books

I love kids’ books for the simple reason a lot have positive messages for children–and it turns out, the adults who read them to their children.

I just read “All the Way to Lhasa” by Barbara Helen Berger.  The simple moral is about how we all have our highest hope and our own journey.  May we all keep going like the boy and the yak who journeys steadily to Lhasa.  May all of us reach our shining goal.

I love this.  It’s a simple story (my 1st grader read it to me) yet one that I need to hear, especially as I’m being bogged down in moving and family drama.  It re-focuses my attention on my goal (being published) and the plodding that goes along with it.

Boundaries Will Be Set

I had a long conversation with my husband last night about his family–mainly about how once we move off of their property in the next month, I intend to have no interactions with them.  Period.

He supported this.  I have a wedding to go to in October and that’s it.  But I am already contemplating skipping the rehearsal dinner because of the impending insanity that follows his family everywhere they go.

Bottom line:  I have to protect my children and they are old enough now to at least get a sense of the uncurrent of hostility in the air.  My greatest fear is I will completely go off on these people in front of my children (I’ve done this in the past but they have been a lot younger).  As a writer, I am definitely one to voice my opinions and as I get older I really don’t care what these people who have no vested interest in my family think about me.

I have to stop the insanity as soon as possible.  As soon as we move and get our trailers and campers off the property I need a break.  I need to take control.  Most importantly, I need to de-stress and re-gain my life back.  And that doesn’t involve my in-laws.

I will continue to pray fervently about this.  I definitely need God’s strength and encouragement.

My Only Sanity is the World I Create

Lately, I’ve been caught up in the insanity of my husband’s family–mainly because we are living on his parents’ property until our house is ready.  His parents and most of his siblings live in la-la land and I find myself fighting utter contempt and disdain with every interaction.

One example:  his sister is building a tree house in the back field (she’s 27 by the way).  Her and her boyfriend are unemployed and are not searching at all for a job.  My husband’s parents think this is cool.  Help me!  This is stupid!

I realized this morning as my mind raced with retardism that my only escape is my novels.  I find myself caught up in the worlds I’ve created and revel in living in them as time allows because it stops my mind from being completely depressed and overwhelmed at this whole situation.

I prayed to God in thanks for this and asked Him for the fortitude to make it through the next 3 weeks where I could literally lose it at any given moment.

I’m trying to limit my interactions with these people as much as possible but it’s hard when you have kids who want to see Grandma.

So, I sit here and write some more on my world in order to forget this world I live in for just a moment.  It gives me the strength when I close my computer to re-enter the chaos surrounding me.