I just feel sick.
Really and truly.
I couldn’t sleep last night.
We have an opportunity to move (not back to where we’re from but away from here). We’re going this weekend to check out the place. It seems perfect. But….
I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I guess I won’t know. Husband doesn’t either.
I will probably not have peace either way until time passes.
I’ll be in a nice place but husband will be away again. Or we can stay here where I absolutely hate it. I hate every waking moment really.
Part of me feels like I’m a deserter. The other part of me feels like I’m not.
Either way it won’t be ideal.
Yet who or what is in this world we live in???
I’m trying to follow God but knowing what is Him is the question.
I’ve pissed off several people lately so my new policy is not to say anything.
That’s just me. I rub people the wrong way with my opinions.
And I’m horrible with the spoken word. Just wretched really.
I just feel like I can’t win these days no matter what I do. In anything I do.
But I get up every day and try to follow God.
I guess that’s all I can do.
Even though at some moments I feel it is absolutely pointless and wrong and other moments I feel elated and it’s perfectly right.
If life were simple, it would be boring. But sometimes boring is good.
Lulls in life.
Like the calm before the storm.
I just wish I could see that calm from where I’m standing…