Why Do We Have Longings?

Yesterday’s post arose many new thoughts and feelings inside almost immediately upon publishing it.

As someone who has moved around a lot, I miss things from every place I’ve lived (yes, even the last place but only one thing–not many).  Be it a house, or the snow constantly falling (even though this was one of my biggest complaints in this place), a church, a school, a homeschooling group, or a way of life.

There are just things from my life, my past life, that I miss.  Yet, it’s not like I want them back either (okay, sometimes I do) but where I’m at right now I do not.  But it’s this feeling of nostalgia that hits when something surfaces that reminds me of my old life.

I try not to dwell on this now because it is twinged with sadness.  So is this a part of life?

I miss my college days.  Mainly because I traveled all over the world.  But I try not to think on these times because they were very depressing times and I spent most of the time lost and searching…

I look at my dogs.  Creatures who spend every moment in the present.  Never thinking about the next day or what they will do.  About their bodies getting older or the fact they sleep all day now when years ago they played all day.  Never contemplating if they will bark at the geese in our field or the dogs that walk by.  Never thinking about their death. They just do.  Merely getting up each and every day.  Living.

And they will continue doing this until the day comes when they do not get up again.  And life will go on.  Just without them.

This is how it is for us humans too.  But we don’t like to think of life continuing on without us.

But it will.

Recently, a teenage girl died in my old community.  I had met her once.  A family with seven kids, homeschooled, who are very religious.  Her obituary talked about how she loved Jesus and it was very uplifting.  I was very touched and saddened by her passing as many in the community were.  But life didn’t stop.  Life moves on.  Just differently for those she was close to.

I joke all the time about my dogs dying.  But I don’t want them to.  They have been a part of my life for 10 years now and I can’t imagine not having them around.  But I know the day is coming.  And it saddens me.

I will long for them.  Like I do each and every place I have lived.  It seems a little piece of my heart (in the case of my dogs a big piece) was left there.  Some day I’d like to retrieve these pieces.  But I know it will probably be when I arrive in Heaven.

Longings are a part of life.  It’s what makes us humans.  It’s a symptom of our love.  The love God put in our hearts.

One day life will go on without me.  I pray the longings in my family’s hearts are lessened and quickly.  For I would want them to go on living.  How God intended them to.  And not to think on me except in a nostalgia sort of way.

Ah, life.  So many questions, isn’t there?

“What Are You Gonna Be for Halloween?”

Every time some adult asks my children this question I cringe internally.

If you read my body language, you’d see my mouth pull tightly at the corners and my eyes narrow.  I’m usually not happy about the assumption.

My kids?  They never know what to say.  They usually don’t answer strangers anyways.

So, I usually answer for them after an awkward pause.

“We don’t celebrate Halloween,” I say.

I usually get an “Oh” and most people don’t know what to say after that.

I celebrated Halloween when I was a kid.  We dressed up and I remember it but it was never really a fun memory.  It was just something we did.

My husband grew up adamantly opposed to it.  His family rented movies and turned out all the lights at night so trick-or-treaters would pass them by.  ”It’s a pagan holiday,” he says.

So when we got married I kind of wanted to do it.  But as the years passed, I’m glad I didn’t fight this battle.

To me, it’s a meaningless “holiday”.  It celebrates nothing.  People dress up, look silly, and go asking for treats from strangers.  It just seems strange to me.

Also, it is way too commercialized for me (if you haven’t guessed, I hate following crowds).  Apparently, Halloween is BIG business, ranking behind Christmas in holiday sales.

I’m wondering what this says about our society.  Are we so desperate for an escape we dress up on one night and go to a party because everyone else does?

Me–I’ll take a good novel any day over this.

My kids know what it is.  They have to; the society they mingle with Trick-or-Treats every year.  We read Halloween books (there are some cute ones out there).  My middle child loves black cats so we read a lot of cat books this time of year.

We go to a pumpkin patch every year and paint pumpkins.  But that’s all we do.

They don’t seem to care we don’t do what everyone else seems to be doing.  They have never asked to go trick-or-treating. They do ask to get the princess dresses on November 1st half-off though!  (I have trained them well!).

I’m not opposed to others who choose to celebrate it.  I’m indifferent either way. The rest of my family (on both sides) celebrates Halloween.  We just choose not to.

I’m wondering what you all think about Halloween and any religious implications.  Any opinions either way?

Does God Pray?

I was wondering this.  Does God pray?  Seems weird He’d pray to himself, doesn’t it?

But given we have Free Will, I was wondering if God prays for all the non-believers out there that they choose Him.  I know He hopes.  So is this akin to prayer?

Fascinating to think on.

I was thinking of this in relation to my Steve Jobs post since I’m not sure if he was a Christian or not so I know if he wasn’t then God would be hoping/praying he would become one before the end.

Jesus prayed.  He prayed multiple times to God the Father.  So if Jesus prays does God pray?

We have Free Will to choose God and accept Jesus as our Savior.  But does God know which way we will choose or not?

Recently, we touched on Free Will here on my blog where we discussed whether we actually have Free Will or not or if God knows it before hand.

So does God know if we will choose Him or not?  Or does He not know so He prays for us as well?

My mind is spinning.  I can see both ways:  We have to choose Him and because of Free Will God does not know.  But God does know which way we will choose.

Or does God keep sending signs (people, events, circumstances) into a person’s life until that person does choose Him?  Does He ever give up hope that person will choose Him even if He knows that person won’t?  Does even God try and try and try to change our human minds?

Or does God know all along?

I found this article here which I’m not sure I agree with but says humans are free to determine some of their lives.

If you think back to our study of Isaiah:  God kept begging His people over and over and over again to follow Him.  He warned them so many times I lost count.  Over and over again they didn’t choose Him.  They rejected Him.  It was only then that God got angry and punished.  He gave man every chance under the sun to change and they never did.

So did He pray over this?

We recently talked about rest in my church.  God rested on the Seventh Day of Creation not because He had to rest (God didn’t need to rest) but He rested to show man he needed to rest.

I tend to think God probably prays to show man he needs to pray.  God seems to be a big believer in modeling.  He sent His son in human form with every emotion like us.  Jesus prayed.

If you believe we have Free Will and we must choose God for ever-lasting life, then God doesn’t know and He keeps after us until the very end.  Because He wants our soul and not the Devil to have it.

Or God does know but He never gives up.  Never ever.  He still hopes we will change.  Something will melt our hearts.

How is this reconciled then with omniscience?  How can God know our hearts and not know if we ultimately choose Him or not?

I don’t know.  I have no clue really.  Ramblings I guess…

Do You Ever Feel Someone’s Passing?

Last night, I learned Steve Jobs has passed.  I spent about an hour reading all about his life.  I’m really not sure why.

This morning I realized why:  it was almost as if I and a lot of others felt his passing.

Very few people in this world have done something as lasting as he has. Here was a man who has touched most of our lives in some way with his company and his visions.  Revolutionizing products that most of us use.

I love my IPod.  I love my MacBook Pro Computer.  Soon, I hope to get an IPhone when the new ones come out.

I always feel sad though when I read when someone has passed so young.  He was 56 and I consider that young in this society.

You ask why.

I like to think when people die it is because their work is done here on Earth and they have something more important to do in Heaven.

But it’s hard to believe this with Mr. Jobs.  His mind was churning up to the end.  It’s hard not to think of what else he could have accomplished had not cancer stood in his way.

Not all of us can impact the world like Mr. Jobs has.  But we all can impact our small little world–those around us–in the same way.

That’s at least what I’m taking from his death.

I pray for his family and his four children who lost their Dad.  May God ease their hearts in this difficult time.

“I Don’t Know Why Anyone Would Follow My Blog”

My husband and I were talking the other night and for some reason I was talking about my blog (something I rarely do).

He was asking some questions about it and asked how many people followed my blog.

I told him.

“Why do people follow your blog?” he asked.

I responded with the above quote, “I don’t know why anyone would follow my blog.”

So, I lied a little I guess.  Most of you are here because of BSF.  That’s how most of you found me.

I told my husband I guess they like what I have to say and I’m a good writer (not sure about that but it fell out of mouth like most stuff does).

I know I have offended many people.  Some of you have gotten mad at me.  Some of you probably would like to smack me at times (which I don’t blame you.  I probably need a good smack or two) and ask, “What is wrong with you?”  (I ask this too).

I recently offended one lady who copied portions of my About page.  She emailed me back, offended by my offensiveness and explained her reasoning.  I duly apologized.

You see, I think people are out to get me in general.  So far, I’ve had 3 scrapers of which I know of and this irks me.  I now know how Stephenie Meyer must have felt when Midnight Sun was stolen and published without her approval.  It is a violation and for writers it’s usually personal. I know it is for me.  It’s a creative endeavor that I at least am fiercely protective of.

For those of you who don’t know, Midnight Sun is an unfinished work of Stephenie Meyers (the author of the Twilight Series) which got posted on the internet illegally when one of her rough drafts fell into the wrong hands.

The lady who copied my About page was probably an admirer (which you can tell from this post I have a hard time believing why anyone would admire me).  I should have acted out of love, but I didn’t.  I failed God’s test.  What else is new? you ask.

Luckily, the lady was nice about my insecurities although she probably harbors some ill-will against me.  I don’t blame her.  I can be quite caustic at times, especially when it comes to sensitive subjects.  You should see me when it comes to my kids.

I do thank you all who for whatever reason you do follow this blog.  I pray for you all–that God is moving in your life and blessing you beyond reason.  I thank you when you take the time to advise me or add your 2 cents to the questions or encourage someone else who shares their heart here.  I know your time is valuable and I appreciate every second you share with insignificant me.

And I pray many, many others appreciate you as well.

Christians are Judgmental

Did I get your attention?  Good.

Research has shown one of the biggest barriers for non-believers to turn to Christ is Christians themselves. After some of the comments I received from my Glenn Beck post, I now agree.  For every comment I get, I’m sure there are dozens more who think the same.

So Glenn Beck is Mormon.  Does that make a difference to us in how we view him?  Is that for us to judge?  I think we all know the answer to that.

“Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matthew 22:36-40

I would say this is pretty important, wouldn’t you?

Yet as soon as us Christians find out someone is NOT a Christian, we immediately turn our backs on them, pronounce them insane, judge them, and move on to our Christian friends whom are somehow better than others because they have Christ.

Well, this is dead wrong.  Jesus loved everyone.  He loved the fringes of society: the downtrodden, the broken, the desperate, the derelicts, the homeless, and yes, even the un-believers.  His aim was to show them through his undying love what God can offer and to tell them the Truth and the Good News.  But, it was up to them to decide which was to turn.  And if they turned away, he loved them all the same.

My point:  quit being hypocrites!  Quit judging others based on their beliefs.  In this day and age it’s amazing to find people who even have beliefs, especially amongst the young.  Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I’m better than others.  I’m equal with others.  Period.

Non-believers will turn to Christ if they see you living His example.  If you gossip, are catty, downright mean, and judgmental, why would others want to even see whom your God is?

We are commissioned to walk like Jesus did.  He lived a Godly life.  He spoke universal truths.  He loved on others no matter their circumstances or who they were.  And people flocked to Him.

Why can’t we do the same?

The Wonders of a Good Dental Cleaning

You probably dislike the dentist as much as I do.  I hate getting the plaque scraped off my teeth and it usually hurts and I always feel like I’m not doing enough to keep my teeth clean.

For years, I’ve been struggling to find a good dentist ever since my childhood dentist in my hometown (1500 miles away).

I think I’ve finally found one.  After two dentists who kept telling me I needed thousands of dollars worth of work done to my teeth, this guy says, “Wait and see.  Everything’s fine right now.”  Plus, he said I have beautiful teeth, something I’ve never gotten before.

After a cleaning, I feel awesome.  My mouth is germ-free (as much as it can be) and I don’t want to eat anything afterwards for fear I’ll ruin it.  My teeth shine and I feel good.

This was the first dentist who told me things I’ve never been told before.  He told me the importance of a soft bristled toothbrush and recommended an electric one.  ”Well, I’ve looked into electric ones but I don’t want to drop $100 on one,” I said.  The hygenist gal recommended a $30 (Oral B Vitality) that works great she said.

So, since I didn’t have the kiddos with me, I ran to Wal-Mart and purchased one.  I also got 3 electric toothbrushes for my kiddos (on sale for $6!) who have been complaining relentlessly about brushing their teeth so I thought a new gadget would work wonders.  Something for them to play with.

I will never go back to a normal toothbrush.  It feels like my whole tooth is getting cleaned.  It’s gentle on my teeth and gums and I actually brush longer because it’s so smooth.  I only wish I would have discovered this sooner.

My kids also think they are the coolest things.  My oldest actually brushes her teeth twice a day now!

I just wish someone had taken the time before to share this information with me.  I’m not that old but I did seem to grow up in the dark ages and my mother was horrible at teaching me stuff like this.

So, I’m sharing this with you all (kind of like the IPod thing) so you’re not as backwards as I am.  I don’t keep up with the trends very much and if no one tells you, how else will you know?

Going Back to Refutation…

I’m still kicking around the blog post by Nathan Bransford dealing with dreams and expectations.  Most people agreed with it.  Some were like me.

It angered me.  I do get offended when people say “temper your dreams”.  Ever.  People had better not say this to one of my kids or they will have to deal with Mama Bear.  This isn’t what Jesus said or did.  The point of life is to be more like Jesus.  He said go forth and prosper.  Find your God-given purpose.  God wants us to succeed and not settle in life.  Life is way too short to settle.

I want my dreams so bad it hurts sometimes.  I cry over it.  I anguish over it.  I pour every ouch of blood, sweat, and tears into my works and I do expect it to touch millions.  I expect that.  This is why I will succeed.

Ask any successful millionaire out there how high his expectations were and I’m sure you’d get out of this universe.  Steve Jobs?  Bill Gates?  Donald Trump?

Sure, I’m sure they didn’t know the path their dreams would take but that doesn’t matter.  All that matters is the end result.

If I Had Another Life…

I’d be a bartender in a pub in Ireland.

I actually did this when I was in college and would do it again in a heart beat.

But, that was not my intended path.

As I was unpacking stuff from my move, I came across a pint glass I had stolen from Spain (the only one to survive the flight.  I actually brought home dozens but they all broke in my luggage).  It brought a surge of memories back.

During this time in my life, I was always searching for something.  It was a chaotic time and not at times a happy one.

Instead, God led me to my husband.  He meant me to have kids, who brought me back to God and led me to write novels which will hopefully one day serve His purpose.  He put me here for a reason.  And I intend to fulfill that reason.

Who knows?  Maybe one day I could end up back in Ireland.  I do hope to visit again with the family.

The Importance of Protecting the Innocence of Our Youth

I’m reading on FoxNews.com about Montana attempting to teach 5 and 6-year olds about sex education and immediately thought, “If I lived there, my kids would be homeschooled and that would be the end of that.”

This is indicative of what’s wrong with public schools.  They trespass on the role of parents, declare what they think kids should be learning instead of focusing on the basics (reading, writing, and math), and then just do whatever the hell they want.

Well, this is not okay with me.  In no way is this okay with me.  I’m the primary educator of my children and I will decide when my kids need to know about the birds and the bees.

In all honesty, I am petrified of sending my kids to school because they do believe at this age all they are told.  They think adults will never lie to them (read here the power of pedaphiles) and they are always right.  Well, they’re not.  I’m not.  They aren’t.

Kids today grow up way too fast as it is.  Remember playing outside all day every day all summer long?  Gone in this day and age.  Kids need to be protected.  Kids need to be sheltered.  Kids need to be valued.  Their little minds don’t need to know about adult stuff.  They have 50 plus years (God-willing) of doing adult stuff.  They only have maybe 15 years of kid stuff these days.

I can tell you right now I want to be a kid again.  I don’t like having to plan where I’m going to live, pay bills, drive everywhere, deal with in-laws, plan for retirement, and overall be an adult.  I’d much rather live carefree, play all day, have my meals served to me, do whatever I want when I want, and have fun all day, every day.  This adult stuff is, well, for adults.

So, let our kids be kids.  Stop trying to prepare them for an unknown and uncertain future.  That’s my job.  I plan to do it well.  But let my kid play in the mud for as long as possible without having to worry about how to get out of the mud once buried in it.